103: Life 5 - On Comfort zones, Coaching and Virtue

Published July 3, 2023 · 3 min read · #personal , #philosophy

Sometime, in April 2023

I sit, at a Sue Hsiao Liu Dim sum restaraunt. Comfortably, I am reassured that Alipay could infact work with a foreign card. I sit as a ethnic homogenous but an outsider foreigner, betrayed by the lack of language, in what is technically my ethnic roots (although arguably my ancestors probably didn’t come from Shanghai necessarily).

But as I sit, bravely and alone out of my comfort zone - I catch myself often reminding myself of what the discomfort is for, and how being up to a challenge can be managed.

On Coaching and being a Coachee

As part of building up the systems, structures to enable the pursuit of my interests, I had sought a Coach. I think this field has gotten a bit more popular, and is something a little more recent in its used context.

But humanity has gotten very far without the concept of coaching in its modern sense, and I see it as an opportunity and undoubtabtedly, a privilege.

The first “Chemistry " session was just a kick-off, but nonetheless helped tp probe what exactly it was I was aiming or striving towards. I consider the aim and mood was less about the tangible goals in itself, but also about the thought process.

I thought a useful distinction was how Coahing sat on the periphery of mentorship (perhaps much more skill specific) and therapy (mental health).

But I do like the practice of coaching / coachee: its personal enough to investigate and explore one’s own psyche and outlook on life; while also being systematic in its own way and approach.

Sometime, late in the evening, 3 July 2023

I sit out of my comfort zone and alone on a late night flight to Shanghai. There have been a few tough, and at times, intense days of late. Just a few days ago I was in Houston. I am embrittled by the jetlag, yet somehow concious and thoughtful enough.

I considered and dreamed of what success was and how it looked like; a cloud of thought floating above the wartron battlefied through the equally important pursuit of discomfort “自找苦吃”: it helps to know what its for and why.

As the ultimate north star, in the privileged pursuit of purpose, these thoughts coalesced around:

A goal of geographic and financial freedom, with the freedom to pursue what is purposeful and meaningful with contentment; through a life lived virtuously; supported by a life lived with quality.

On Virtue

I’ve noticed some of the most recent, intensely meaningful moments as exemplars of a feeling of an otherwise ill-defined concept of Virtue.

Such moments arise when I get the feeling of

Being trusted, with integrity and competence.

To be reliable, consistent and dependable; with action based on the principles and values that one holds close to heart.

To Care, taking kindness over niceness: the latter being more superficial.

Often times, these unveiled through heart to hearts and thoughtful exchange. It is both sad and true that such moments often emerge at times of stress, vulnerability, weakness, uncertainty.

Their ain’t no growth without struggle as things go.

It leads me to feel accomplished in some way.

I hope to conitnue building and participating in such Cycles of Virtue, that virtue begets virtue; that doing good attracts goodness.


See also

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